


Through Blood, Sweat, and Tears

by patrioticpotatoes



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Armitage Hux Has Feelings, Emperor Hux, M/M, Some puns scattered throughout, attempted coup, he didn't die though, the bad guys win
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-22 18:21:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13769883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patrioticpotatoes/pseuds/patrioticpotatoes
Summary: Turns out Kylo Ren wasn't dead. Hux doesn't think he can take much more, but may he be damned if he doesn't put up a good fight. And he does, for a while. Then, he breaks down.





	Through Blood, Sweat, and Tears

“I suppose I should congratulate you.” Kylo Ren took a few steps closer to the man who stood frozen. Not because of the Force or even a physical hand to the throat, but for once, in fear. Ren had never thought he would associate fear with General-no. Supreme Leader Hux is what he was going by. 

Hux had never been the type to cower from Ren. He had always held his gaze. Always took whatever beating came his way without complaint. Even managed to throw out a snarky remark on his way out if he was feeling rebellious. 

Yet there he was. 

Paralyzed by his own paranoia coming to life.

The sounds of the dying battle was the background music to this dramatic scene. Fires danced in the distance, the smell of smoke, blood, and burning substances spreading across the entire planet after the immense battle that had taken place. Said entire planet was in a state of chaos, though Ren could feel the energy of it all being an...organized chaos. There was damage everywhere, corpses and flames scattered about. But there was a clear victor in this battle, in this war. The First Order reigned supreme.

Then there was Hux. 

It wasn’t the same Hux he had last seen before the coup. The sleek professionalism that had dominated the slender man’s appearance was nonexistent in this moment. And heavens, was that a blessing upon Ren’s cold soul to see such dishelvement on the former general. 

His hair had no product in it. The ginger mass was fluffed up, with tufts sticking out at random angles from the amount of running and fighting the man had done. There was thin cut on the corner of his lip, dripping blood down the side of his chin. His cheeks were flushed a bright red from the exertion, and his chest heaved as his underprepared lungs tried to catch up with his muscles. That chest...Hux was wearing an outfit he had never dreamt he’d see him in. Armor. Black leather armor that shielded the fragile and pale skin beneath. It held to his body in such a way that Ren could appreciate. Accents of red and gold around the shoulders and waist made Hux look every bit the part of a battle engaged warrior that Ren had thought that generals were supposed to be, before he learned that they worked behind the scenes in a safe location. If Ren looked closer at that armor, he could see it was covered in blood. None of it was Hux’s own, as he could not find a single piercing to the armor. Ren was impressed.  
Overall, Hux looked like a completely different man. Apart from the eyes.

Those eyes still held the burning fire that so sharply contrasted the icy blue of the pupils. The passion behind the lens that had inspired a regime. No matter how hard things had gotten for the man, no matter what failure and defeat was thrown his way, he had always retained the fire in his eyes. 

If anything, that fire had increased now. The adrenaline of the fight was flowing through his veins, the thrill of victory was making everything a hundred times amplified. It was showing in his demeanor, how that high head was held even higher, and in his expression, which, in addition to fear, held a sense of triumph. 

“For what? My victory or my survival?” There was that snappy mouth again. Hux had those piercing eyes fixed on Ren and for those few seconds, there was not an ounce of terror in his face. Then the former Supreme Leader took a step forward and it all came rushing back, making him look away.

Interesting.

“Both. I did not think you to be a warrior, yet here you are. Coated in enemy blood, with very little of your own outside your body.” Ren was genuine in his compliment, though immediately noted the slight disbelief in Hux’s eyes. “As for your triumph over the Resistance, I expected nothing less.” 

Hux didn’t speak and Ren got the notion it was because he didn’t want to be in a worse situation than he already was in. Separate from the rest of his officers and men, standing before someone he had considered dead, and that someone happening to be the man whose death he had plotted and celebrated the meaning behind it which was his ultimate rise to power. 

Ren reached with his hand and felt along Hux’s jawline. He could practically feel the shiver that ran down the ginger’s back. “Look at you. Sweaty. Filthy. Yet in all the years I’ve seen you, ravished you, I can’t help but find you most appealing in this state.”

Hux made a snorting noise, making Kylo raise a brow. “Hm?” He asked, wondering what Hux could find amusing at a time like this. The shorter man took a moment to mentally grapple, wondering if he would be hurt too badly for whatever he had to say next. He decided, apparently, that it was worth the risk.

“Look closer. Look at my face. Tell me what’s different.” The words had rather surprised Ren, who had expected something quite different. He was so caught off guard that he followed orders immediately and looked closer at Hux. 

There were some differences he had missed before. Little details that somehow made all the difference in his appearance. The dark rings beneath his eyes, for example, had significantly decreased. He looked better rested overall, with his eyes wider and less puffy and red. His cheeks were no longer as hollow as they had been before. The hair atop his head, previously mentioned as not slicked with product, actually looked healthy. It didn’t seem dried out at all, almost as though he was actually taking the time to condition it. 

“You look...better.” There was a loss for words on Ren’s part. They seemed small little details, yet he knew exactly what they meant. He would wager a good sum that beneath those layers of protective armor, there was a severe lack of fresh bruises around the neck, arms, chest, legs, and back. Even after the entirety of the battle.

Hux gave a dry smile, no humor behind it. “Yes, I tried this wonderful thing called eating and sleeping. Does miracles to the body.”

Ren didn’t think Hux would expand on the idea behind this all verbally. He wouldn’t say it flat out, he wouldn’t dare. In fact, there was so little else that the man could mean that he probably didn’t even need say it. 

He was blaming Ren for his mental and physical health prior to his supposed death. 

In a way he was right. Ren was responsible for most of the bruises on Hux’s body, the rest of them being the remains of Snoke’s torture. Every toss to a console must have left a severe mark on that fragile skin of his. The marks on his neck were his fault as well. Results from trying to choke the ginger into submission. It apparently hadn’t worked as well as he had wanted it to. And of course, the workload he had placed upon the older man’s shoulders. He had pushed him into working twenty hour shifts as a minimum, forcing him to labor over finding the Resistance, finding sources of funds, finding the girl. Hux had already been sleep deprived, but now it was a million times worse. 

There was once a time when Ren had been able to do the opposite. He would sneak into the then-general’s rooms when he felt the exhaustion of his body conflicting with his insomnia and need for continuing work. He would use his powers to knock him out, then carefully lay him in bed and tuck him beneath standard issue sheets and a thin, grey blanket. It had happened more times than Hux had wanted to think. After the fifth time, Ren had finally decided to remain in his quarters and sleep in his bed. Not too close, of course. He remained on the opposite side of the bed, though when he woke the next morning, earlier than the alarm, he opened his eyes to the little angry man sleeping soundly while pressed against his chest. A few minutes later, when the alarm went off, and Hux woke up to his face cuddling to a human heater...it wasn’t the prettiest scene that had followed. 

It had been weeks until they had finally had the time and will to sit for a conversation. Well. Ren had sat while Hux had paced back and forth in front of the windows, staring intensely at the stars while his tongue fired off all the reasons ‘why this wouldn’t work.’ It took a while before Ren had managed to get Hux to think of the benefits of this little affair. In fact, it had been the torture that Snoke had inflicted on them both that had finally gotten Hux to think, to wonder, what if there was someone who understood to some degree and could help lick the wounds? And how ironic that the existence of Snoke was what brought them close.

For it was the death of Snoke which tore them apart.

And how horrible it must have been for Hux, who had been so careful and reserved when it came to the desire to give and receive affection, to finally be convinced to think otherwise just for that very person to backstab him. To take all they had struggled to build in the first place and burn it to the ground, shatter every bit of trust. It seemed Ren had a habit of burning things to the ground. 

He had been the one to seize control without a thought to what they could accomplish together. He had been the one to fling Hux to the side like a ragdoll, nothing more than a tool at his disposal. He had been the one to lose sight of everything they had and could become for the sake of more power. He had made the decision to sacrifice his relationship with Armitage Hux for a balance with the Force, for the sake of ruling beside his Light Side counterpart, that...girl.

No wonder Hux had plotted against him. 

No wonder he had displayed false evidence leading to some undomesticated planet, with not an ounce of technology on it. No wonder he had tricked Ren into flying there without informing the Supreme Leader that there were millions of dangerous, unintelligent monsters which had tried to consume, devour, and maul him at every chance. No wonder he had sabotaged his ship, removing all fuel and disabling the auxiliary power systems, apart from the exact amount needed to power the ship to the planet, measured down to the very last drop. He had done all of it himself, Ren realized. He had put such precise care into every little detail that it couldn’t have been anyone else. It had been too personal and far too dangerous for him to trust anyone else to take part in the plot.  
Ren didn’t blame him. After all of this, he couldn’t blame him at all. It didn’t mean he wasn’t hellbent on revenge. Who cared if he deserved it? He had wanted power, just as Hux did. This wasn’t a game of morals or equality. There were only two types of people: those who have the capability to achieve power and those who try in vain. Ren could achieve power. Hux just wasn’t born to rule the galaxy. 

The grip on Hux’s face grew tighter. “Still with the mouth, hm?” He hissed at his former lover, his former right hand man. “Sass me all you want, it doesn’t change the fact that you are at my mercy.”

Hux bristled visibly at the words. His eyes were sharp, yet they had the edge of a mouse cornered by a cat. “If you wish to kill me so much, then do it already.”

“You left me to die on a wild planet with no way to communicate, no way to get off the damned planet, nothing but a dead shuttle and my saber.” Ren let his eyes bear into his soul, which he could just tell make Hux squirm a bit. 

“How did you survive?” It was quiet. The words were probably the quietest he’d heard Hux say, apart from the always soft ‘I love you’ every now and then in the shadows of their quarters. The underlying meaning was clear here as well; How did I fail when I thought this out so well?

“You underestimate my powers, Hux.” Ren smirked and leaned close to his ear to make sure he could hear every detail of his failure. “Sure, you got a planet no one goes to. Doesn’t mean they don’t fly by. And how long do you think it took me before a pilot flew close enough with an easily manipulated mind for me to pull him in?” He could feel the shame and self hatred seeping from Hux’s mind. There he was, hating himself for messing up like that, for not researching more on the full extent of force powers. 

“Look what I’ve done in your absence.” Hux was shaking slightly, and that...that was odd. Ren could tell it was from fear, of course, he had felt fear in countless others before, but there was something more. Something else was giving Hux such a physical reaction and he couldn’t decipher it. But before he could even consider thinking deeper into it, Hux continued to talk. “I won the damn war without you.” 

It was like a dam broke, spilling all of Hux’s thoughts at once. Well, not all. But a hell of a good chunk of it.

“I crushed them all. I did it! Not you, me. I led the First Order to glory. You would have let them burn while you were on your quest for that girl. You cannot lead! You have never been able to lead, have you? You never inherited that from your mother, who I may now say is dead thanks to my forces. You can’t lead. Your knights perished under your leadership, if I remember correctly?” Oh, low blow. The Knights of Ren, who had died many years back in some undisclosed situations on some Force fancy planet, were one of Ren’s poor subjects to brush upon. But Hux, that madman, kept going. “I was the one who worked my ass off day and night to make sure the galaxy was to fall into the right hands. I was the one who orchestrated every attack on their fleets and bases until they fell. I was the one who worked through blood, sweat, and tears just to cement the victory of the First Order-”

“And now you intend to sit on the throne? Rule forever as the Supreme Leader?” Kylo found the opportunity to interrupt him, eyes still blazing with a fire of his own. 

“No.” Hux took a deep breath, trying to compose himself. His voice tried reverting back to the cool, informative tone he was used to using when explaining facts or battle plans, though it was clear that the man was struggling to keep a level headed. “No, the idea of a Supreme Leader has been tainted by military action and symbolizes a hostile force with invasive powers. To appease the people and get the idea of martial law off the table, the government has to be established as more than just the leader of the military. Change the title of the head of state to something different to cement the idea of a stable, functioning-”

“-So you wish to call yourself Emperor.” Ren didn’t need any more of an explanation. He always knew Hux got all hot and bothered by the idea of titles, especially when his name followed. ‘Emperor Hux’ had been one of the names he had heard from the few dreams Armitage had when he was near. 

“It is a proper title for the system we intend to put into play, one that will please former allies of the Empire. Though with the changes that we intend to make to the previous systems of power, there will be more incentive and desirable qualities for Resistance or Republic friendly planets...if they don’t submit, we have the resources to de-”

“-You still speak as if you will be ruling the galaxy by the time I’m done with you.” Ren made his verbal attack, letting all the pooled up anger start to gleam in his eyes. They were chest to chest at this point, less than an inch between the two of them.

“I will.”

Those two words betrayed so much. Ren could tell Hux had meant it to sound firm and confident. He had tried to make it some statement of defiance that could somehow escalate this little confrontation to one that would elicit some form of...what? Respect? Hux had already acknowledged the fact that the taller man wished to kill him. Perhaps the fact that he hadn’t done it already had made Hux’s weasley antics of trying to use words to get out of trouble. Either way, it did not work as planned. His voice had shook. It had wavered and cracked in the most embarrassing way, making it sound like he had been a kicked puppy. Not even a biting, snarling, rabid cur trying to bite back at an abusive master, but a small, weak, defenseless puppy who had been toppled over by a cruel foot. 

In a way, Ren was happy for it. Perhaps this would really get everything out from the man. He didn’t care for Hux’s accomplishments since his departure from the rank of Supreme Leader. No, that was all just filler, just some weak justification as to why he should rule. Ren wanted to know why he was so afraid, since he had never been like it before. 

His wish came true a few seconds later. 

The ginger had snapped. 

His body began to shake badly. His cheeks were bright red, matching his ears. The splotches of red color seemed to spread across his face and neck until he looked like an angsty tomato. Water welled in the eyes of the Starkiller and spilled over, his bottom lip quivering obscenely. Armitage Hux was...crying, and he wasn’t a very pretty crier. His breath was ragged and rushed, making his chest rise and fall in a quick manner. Fists clenched at the sides, Hux started to blabber on about...hopefully the good stuff.

“I have to.” Hux cried out, clenching his fists even tighter. “I deserve it. You know I deserve it a million times more than you do!”

Ren was tempted to say that a million times nothing was still ‘not at all deserving of the throne’ but that was a remark he held back, just so he could hear Hux finish talking.

“I got here on my own merit.” He growled, which was a feat considering he was grossly crying. “My own mind, strength, and dedication. Not because I was born with some mystical powers in my blood. My fate wasn’t written in the stars. My parents weren’t some legends, some heroes. I’m a bastard, the son of a kitchen wench and...him. My destiny was to work in the kitchens. But I worked my way through classes, through ranks, until I reached here. You were born with the stars in your favor, I had to kill the stars to earn favor. So if either of us gets to carry out the act of ruling the entire damn galaxy, it should be the one who put work towards it, not the one who has had their power given to them on a silver platter!”

All lovely, Ren thought. But not what he was looking for.  
“But that’s not what’s going to happen, is it?” Hux went quiet again for a single second, before he began to cry harder. “No, because even after all this, fate still favors you. You’ll kill me and go on to destroy the galaxy, because let’s face it, you don’t lead, you demolish. You’ll kill me and I will go down in history as the man who failed. Who failed at Starkiller, who failed at Crait, and who failed even in victory. In the end, I will be nothing but an honorable mention, at the very most, in the biography of your reign.”

Better, Ren thought. This may end up going somewhere. 

“And you will kill me. That part’s obvious.” Hux couldn’t help but choke out a sob. Ren wondered when the last time he had cried like this had been. “Because you no longer have a need for me.” 

There it was. The reason why Hux was so afraid when he wasn’t before. He had never been before...it was because he served a purpose. He had been the one to carry out the actual duties on the Finalizer and for the First Order, the ones that didn’t involve the Force. With only Snoke and Ren, the entire thing would have collapsed of negligence and disorder. But now…

“Now that the war is won, you don’t need me. You can divide any bit of work for lesser men and still get the same result. More trust to distribute, but the same result...I am useless. I have no special value. I’m vulnerable...completely…” Hux couldn’t even finish the sentence. He stared Ren in the eye and inhaled sharply. “No. No, I’m not.”

“I won this war.” Yes, Ren thought. You have told me that a hundred times within this single conversation. 

“I won it, not you. This is the culmination of my life’s work. Literally, my life’s work. You can’t take that away from me.” The tears had stopped flowing from his eyes, though his voice still sounded as though he was going to break down again anytime. “You can’t take it away from me.” His chest was still heaving, which gave this whole thing some image of desperation. “You won’t take this away from me.”

And what was “this” that he spoke of? The throne. The crown. The First Order. The galaxy. His life. All of it together as one. 

“Do you hear me?” Hux grabbed Ren by the chin and pulled him close so they were face to face. “You can’t take this away from me!” He seemed to be on some sort of loop, repeating it again and again...yet somehow every repetition of the words was a different version of it. Determined, broken, pleading, angry, every possible situation was there and present. “You can’t take this away from me!” And it went on and on.

Then he collapsed.  
Hux’s knees buckled and he fell forwards into Ren’s chest. Out of pure instinct, Ren caught him and held him steady. Hux was still shaking, still quivering, as he clung to him with both hands to the broadshoulders in a way that reminded him of a time back when they could depend on each other for comfort rather than pain. 

“Please don’t take this away from me.”

The fact that Hux’s face was buried in his chest and that he had spoken softly to begin with made it hard for Ren to hear it. But he did, and his heart nearly shattered. That was vulnerability at its truest form, in the image of a strong man begging for another man (not a god, but another human) not to take away all he had worked for. 

For a couple of seconds, Ren could only hold Hux close and listen to the sobs vibrating against his sternum. Then he made the move to reach up and start stroking his hair, some futile attempt at consoling him. Hux didn’t seem to mind, so he kept at it. Finally, he lifted his head to see the hideously blotchy face with bloodshot, watery eyes, ugly tear streaks down the cheeks, and saliva trails from the corners of his mouth. 

There was a weak smile that vanished almost as soon as it came, almost as though he knew it was pointless in even trying to act like things were okay. 

“Hux.” Ren paused before correcting himself. “Armitage.” Hux didn’t even tense when he heard his cursed first name. “Armitage, look at yourself.” Ren hated how soft he sounded. Fuck, he was ready to kill this man, why was he… “You are practically bathing in the blood of your enemies, yet you collapse because of fear? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this, and I have seen you at some pretty low points. You fear me this much?” He should have felt proud of the idea...but he didn’t. 

“I never feared you before.” Hux managed to get out, sounding something closer to what he normally sounded, though still horribly hollow. “You needed me before.”

Hux got to stand up by himself, rubbing his face with one blood stained hand. Luckily, the blood was dried and didn’t smear against his face. “Now you don’t-”

Ren interrupted him. “Yes, I do.”

There were a few moments of silence between them, Hux staring at Ren as he tried to figure out if he was lying and Ren staring back at Hux, feeling a bit internally conflicted as he was meant to be slaying this snake, not comforting him.  
Then he began to speak in a warm voice, surprising both he and Hux. “You heard yourself. I’m no leader. I can’t do a damn thing by myself when it comes to politics and organization whatever. I don’t need the throne. I just need battle, a place to channel my power.” 

Hux didn’t speak, just watching Ren. Truth be told, Ren wasn’t even a hundred percent sure he knew where he was going with this. Still, he felt it important that this once, just this once, that he let his mouth say something worth saying. So he leaned his head closer to Hux and wiped more of the tear stains from his cheeks. “I need you by my side. On the throne. Ruling over all...I don’t need the throne. It’s not my destiny. I believe it's yours.”

The ginger waited a long time before speaking, almost in a tone that said, ‘do you really wish to trust me?’ 

“I don’t regret trying to get rid of you.”

And Ren didn’t blame him one bit. “I know. I don’t expect you to. It was me who ruined all we had.”

“Not that we had much to begin with.” Hux allowed the slightest smile to curve against his lips.

Ren nodded with a slightly larger smile of his own. “Yeah...yeah.” 

And then they stood there for even more time, stuck in another awkward silence. It was almost painful, yet at the same time, comforting. Ren wasn’t going to kill Hux and Hux wasn’t going to kill Ren. They would both live another day. It was a good three minutes before Hux spoke, cutting into the silence like a knife and cheese.

“You would allow me to remain as Emperor? As the chief executive of all commands, military and political?” He asked, raising a brow.

“Depends. Would you allow me to remain at your side, your faithful and devoted Knight?” Ren held his gaze with a bright one of his own. 

Hux waited for a second. “You will not lay a hand on me without my consent.”

“Never again.”

“You will not question any of my orders.”

“Perhaps not directly, but maybe a few comments here and there if I feel it necessary.”

“Good. That will keep things interesting.” Hux snorted. “You will not betray me or the Order for anything. Not even the Force.”

Ren thought for a moment. “I wouldn’t dare, Armitage.”

The two stared at each other for a while once again. At this rate, they had each other’s faces memorized. Then, Hux took Ren’s hand and interlocked the fingers.

“It appears we have a deal, my Knight.”

Kylo Ren wasn’t sure what had made him so incapable of killing a man when he had slaughtered other so much more innocent prior. Perhaps it was the sight of Hux having a breakdown and him having a heart so he couldn’t . Perhaps it was the knowledge that he really couldn’t do it without Hux and it was just self preservation, keeping his own image in tact. Or perhaps, and this was the most likely of them all though the one Ren himself thought the least of, he was simply in love. 

Sickly, twistedly, horribly in love.

**Author's Note:**

> So this turned out much sloppier than I expected, but oh well. Any constructive criticism is welcome :)


End file.
